The stewing is worse than the doing
Just do the thing
Written by Jess, Edited by Jenna
We’ve all done it. Put off a simple task for another day, another week, maybe even months. An easy task. Calling to make a doctor appointment. Writing an email. Even sending a quick text.
This summer, I watched my 18-year-old daughter stew and stew and stew. She had to write a short application. Short! One or two paragraphs to apply for a college freshman seminar. She had just spent the entire last year writing essay after essay for college applications. She had done the hard part. In comparison, this application was easy. A piece of cake! But day after day, nothing.
There was clearly something about the assignment that kept her from doing it. Figuring out what to write about? The fear of not getting in? Being scared to be vulnerable and write about herself? Burnt out from writing too many essays? Too much time, so putting it off to another day wouldn’t really matter? Maybe she didn’t really want to do the seminar?
Taking time to think about what’s behind the stewing may be an important question to ask yourself. Perhaps the stewing is telling you that the thing is not that important and is a “should” and not a “want”. Maybe it’s because the thing is bringing up a different emotion - fear, frustration, sadness, shame. Perhaps you are doing the thing for someone else, not yourself. Whatever it is, it’s important to pay attention to it and dig a little deeper.
My daughter finally did the thing. She was open and vulnerable and wrote about a hard topic. And yes, it took way less time than she thought. Easy even. And the best part… the seminar with the short application is currently her favorite freshman class.
More often than not, the stewing is worse than the doing!
✍️ Next step:
Write down 1 or 2 things you keep putting off.
Think about what’s behind the stewing?